Newsletter - May 2021
May 2021 Newsletter
May Days
I read in the paper this morning that half of all adult Americans have received at least one vaccine. Does this mean an end to social restrictions? Are you ready? Can you handle it? Are you anxious? More and more sociologists and psychologists are reporting social anxiety at a level most often experienced by people who re-enter the civilian world after prison, wartime deployment, humanitarian aid work or remote expeditions. Everyone is trying to navigate conflicting threat levels in a way that used to be specific to those populations. Cues that used to be neutral or positive, like being around other people are now associated with a threat. PTSD is rampant. Our fight or flight mechanisms are on overdrive. Social distancing and isolation have dehumanized us So, what are we to do?
Dr. Dacher Keltner, a professor of psychology and the director of the Social Interaction Lab at the University of California, Berkeley, suggests taking baby steps. Here are eight small, science-based exercises Dr. Keltner recommends to help you ease back into the community. Some are easy, some not so much. Take it slow and go at your own pace.
Share food with someone.
Eating a meal together boosts mood and is a potent antidote for loneliness — aiming for in-person interaction around the ritual of eating is a great goal, even if you don’t meet it every single day. An outdoor picnic or a distanced backyard happy hour is a great and safe option for reconnecting with friends and family.
Tell someone a joke in person.
You may be out of practice and need to work on your timing. But making eye contact and laughing together is essential to feeling connected to someone else — even if the joke falls flat, being silly together will feel good.
Ask someone what they’re listening to or reading right now.
Music and literature can be a community-building gift. Listen to music together; exchange books and have an in-person discussion afterward. This is a social exercise, but also one that will give you a much-needed hit of novelty along with the insight.
Reach out to someone you’ve lost touch with.
Make a phone call, send a meaningful text, write an email. It’s time to start rebuilding the larger social infrastructure outside our immediate circles.
Strike up a conversation with a stranger.
Pick someone with whom you have passing contact: a fellow dog-walker, the cashier at a grocery store, a delivery person on your doorstep. Make eye contact; talk to each of them as a person rather than as a function. It’s so easy to ignore the human behind a mask.
Move with someone.
Dance, walk, run, swim, bike — or even do the dishes and fold the laundry together. Physical synchronicity is one of the most important ways we have to connect with someone else.
Sit quietly with someone …
and remember how to comfortably be, without talking, in companionable silence, with someone else. Let the other person know it’s OK to not always fill the air. Nonverbal communication is important to practice — and it’s a way to deepen your relationship.
Make a date for the future.
Think of something fun to do — it could be a summer beach weekend, a fall craft fair, or maybe a ski trip next winter. Having something to look forward to is essential for well-being. Practice optimism, in anticipation of normalcy. Plan with hope.
As more and more venues transition into full operation, I am cautiously optimistic that we will be able to gather together and enjoy the fellowship we have been sorely deprived of
Until next time, enjoy the warmer weather and try to get back out there and experience all of life’s joys.
-Sue
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